From the Beginning
by grayskies317
Summary: Who is Shelagh Mannion? How did she become Sister Bernadette and later Shelagh Turner? What is her side of the story? The story line from her POV. Not certain of the direction of this story just yet, but open to suggestion. First FanFic ever. Please be kind.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – The night that set the path**

 **Winter 1930**

Shelagh awoke with a start as she heard her mother calling out to her in the middle of the night.

"SHELAGH!" she heard again in her mother's thick Scottish accent that was dripping with fear.

She ran to her mother straight away and without delay. She wasn't due for another two months, but it was obvious to even little six-year-old Shelagh that something wasn't right.

"My darling girl," Mrs. Mannion said as she caresses Shelagh's cheek and unsuccessfully tried to hide her fear of what was happening. "I need you to be a dear and help mummy. Your lit'l brother or sister is on 'is way in a hurry. Gotta get some hot water and towels straight away."

"Yes, mum. I'm here to help, but where's da?" little Shelagh asked, trying frightfully to hide her fear as well.

"He's at the pub again. We'll fetch 'im when it's all done. No worries my dear. Now hurry along with that water."

Shelagh was used to her father being away at the pub. He wasn't always the kindest and most endearing father or husband, but he always kept their needs met. Shelagh never worried of being hungry or having a place to sleep, but she longed for the love that was missing in her father-daughter relationship.

Shelagh was torn from her own thoughts as she heard her mother scream out the most terrifying sounds with each new contraction. She began to heat the kettle and quickly decided she needed help. As fast as her little legs would carry her through the snow, she ran to the nearest neighbour. She had been in such a hurry to fetch help, she had left with only a coat over her thin night dress and no shoes. Her mother would have been furious, but Shelagh had more important things to worry with right now.

Mrs. Wilson was a florist, not a nurse, but Shelagh hoped she could help in some way. Unfortunately, there wasn't a phone around for miles.

"What's the matter, Shelagh? Where are you shoes? Are you okay?" Mrs. Wilson asked with the utmost concern.

"Mum's havin 'er baby. I got the kettle goin', but I don't know what to do." Shelagh cried as she nearly pulled Mrs. Wilson down the tiny dirt road.

Shelagh was the best helper and nurse she could possibly be for such a scared little girl. She obliged every request of Mrs. Wilson and her mother and was as quick about it as she could be. She heard her mother let out the scariest of screams and cries she'd ever heard, until, in the matter of a moment, it all went silent. This is when she saw Mrs. Wilson become frantic in the attempt at getting Mrs. Mannion to come around, but her attempts were in vein.

Despite all of Shelagh's best efforts of assisting and getting help, mother and baby passed during birth. With no trained nurses, midwives, or doctors around, there was nothing else that Shelagh or Mrs. Wilson could have done for her.

Mrs. Wilson took Shelagh back to her home and sent Mr. Wilson down the pub to fetch Mr. Mannion and phone for the hospital and coroner.

 **Summer 1941**

That night replayed in Shelagh's head continuously, leaving her with the guilt of not being able to do more for her mother or baby brother. She had plenty of time to dwell on that with her father spending more time in the town pub than anywhere else. She learned quickly how to stay out of her father's way when he came home late in the evenings after having far too many spirits at the pub. While she had hoped that her mother's passing might make him realise how precious life was and become a more doting father, instead he mostly shot verbal assaults about how she was to blame for her mother's death and how she was of no use to him, but on occasion, he'd turn physical.

One warm summer night, her father came home in a particularly foul mood. He hollered and screamed for Shelagh as she hid in the far corner of her bedroom, but once he found her, he made sure she felt every bit of anger he held deep within him. When he had finally had enough and passed out from the overabundance of liquor he had consumed that evening, she began to clean herself up and bandage her wounds as best she could before she gathered her things knowing that this was not the life she could forever lead. There had to be more out there for her, and she was determined to find it.

With the utmost caution, Shelagh snuck out the door with her tiny case filled with only the basic of belongings – nothing more than a few days' worth of clothing, but she was never one to hold much value in material things. She then began her journey to her new life in Aberdeen. She had very little money to speak of, but thankfully, over the years Mrs. Wilson had asked Shelagh to help at her shop regularly to help out with the flowers and earn a small wage. This gave her an opportunity to learn a trade and make enough money to move to the city.

At the tender age of 17, Shelagh Mannion was now leaving the only place she had ever known to start a new life in the city, and had no plans of ever looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Life in Aberdeen and beyond

 **Summer 1943**

Shelagh was so grateful to be away from her abusive situation and country life, but she knew that flower arranging in the tiny floral shop in Aberdeen still left so much to be desired. She still thought back to her mother and that fateful night often. Because of this, she read medical books from the library frequently to try to put her mind at ease and learn more about what actually happened to her mother and baby brother.

One day, a frequent patron came into the shop to find her reading one of her medical books as usual. "Have you thought about putting all of that reading to good use, Miss Mannion?" Mr. Smith, a regular shopper at the floral shop asked.

"I'm sure I don't know how you mean, Mr. Smith," replied a very curious Shelagh.

"There is an unmatched nursing school down in London. Have you considered applying?" Mr. Smith explained.

"I haven't, but it sounds like a lovely idea. Have you any further information you could share, Mr. Smith?"

"I'll get my wife to jot down the details and bring them by soon. She has a cousin that attended a few years ago."

"Many thanks, Mr. Smith!" Shelagh replied with little restraint on her excitement.

She had never thought of the idea of leaving Scotland, much less attending some kind of nursing school, but she knew that it could potentially give her the opportunity to help other people from experiencing the trauma that she's had in her life.

Just a few days later she had received the information on the nursing school in London from Mrs. Smith and had sent off her application and other required information. It took very little time to consider her actions, and she was certain the moment Mr. Smith had mentioned it, that this was the course she should take. It was now time to wait. Thankfully, within a few weeks, she had heard back from the nursing school saying she had been accepted for the first term of 1944 and should report to the nurse's home no less than two days before the beginning of term to get registered and settled into her dormitory.

Shelagh spent the next six months saving every wage she made to make the trip to London.

 **Winter 1944**

Shelagh gasped as she watched all of the beautiful scenery along her nearly day-long train ride from Aberdeen to London. It was more beautiful than anything she had experienced in her very sheltered life, and Shelagh was very excited for yet another new start. She couldn't have been more certain about her actions in leaving Scotland and pursuing this new career path.

She arrived at the nurse's home on a cold January morning to be greeted by Matron Taylor, a very stout older woman who made it clear that she was all business.

"Good morning, Miss Mannion, welcome to the nurse's home. I'll show you to your room and introduce you to your new roommate who will be beginning the term with you the day after tomorrow. Take this time to get your uniform ready and get settled into your room. You've already missed breakfast which is served at 6 o'clock sharp, however, dinner is at half past 6. You're expected to be prompt," Matron said to Shelagh in her very stern tone.

"Yes, matron. I'll mind the clock. Thank you," Shelagh replied with a bit of the nervousness in her voice. She wasn't nervous about her decision to become a nurse, but the matron was obviously someone that shouldn't be toiled with.

Shelagh was introduced to her new roommate, Margaret Reid, who was far more high-spirited than Shelagh.

"Seeing as we'll be living together; you might as well call me Maggie as my friends do. First time in London?" Margaret very excitedly said to Shelagh.

"Yes, just got off the train from Aberdeen and excited to call this my new home. Nice to meet you, Maggie. I guess it's best I get settled in now," Shelagh timidly replied.

 **1 Year Later..**

While the work was grueling, it was incredibly rewarding. Shelagh loved every aspect of nursing and was so excited to experience each division of the hospital. She had also come to know her roommate, Maggie, quite well. However, they couldn't be more different. Maggie was on a date with a new lad every week, unlike Shelagh who never had much interest in dating as she had a hard time believing that men were any different than her father. Another major difference in the two ladies was the strength in their beliefs. While religion was never a priority in the Mannion household as Shelagh was coming up, she attended regularly. In many cases, after her mother passed, this was the only place Shelagh could find solace from the very difficult times she endured at home. Shelagh strongly believed that her prayers were the reason she managed to get this far away from rural Scotland and on this journey to an incredible new life.

Despite their differences, Shelagh and Maggie got along quite nicely. Even though, the end of their training was still three years out, they had begun to discuss their plans for after they completed. Maggie had these grand ideas of going to far off lands to do nursing work around the world, while Shelagh had grown to really love London and was happy to stay. It had truly become her home. But, despite all of the wonderful things coming from her new found education, friends, and home, she knew there was more for her to do or be. It was simply a mystery that would have to be revealed in due cause.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – What's Next?

 **Fall 1947**

Shelagh had made her rounds through each of the hospital divisions, but was now ready for the final division before she began to set out in her chosen specialty or whichever endeavors she desired upon completion of her training. This last area of training was in the maternity ward in the area of midwifery.

"Nurse Mannion, this is your superior in the maternity ward, Sister Julienne. She is from the Order of Nonnatus, who work very closely with the London and handle the district cases," Matron Taylor explained. "Sister Julienne, this is Nurse Mannion, one of our most prime nursing students," she continued. "Now, I best be on my way so you two may get acquainted and back to work."

"Thank you, Matron," Sister Julienne replied.

Shelagh immediately felt drawn to Sister Julienne in way that she hadn't experienced since the death of her mother. The seemed to work together like a well-oiled machine, and Shelagh enjoyed every opportunity she had to work with Sister Julienne.

After a few months of working together regularly and building an incredible trust, Shelagh decided to open up to Sister Julienne about her past and about the questions she had of her future.

"Sister, I feel as though something is missing. As if God has a plan for me that is yet to be discovered. I have prayed for answers, and I know he has guided me to midwifery, but I know that something else is still missing," Shelagh would explain.

"My dear Shelagh, no one can make that decision for you, but I can say that prayer will provide the insight you desire in due cause," Sister Julienne kindly explained.

It didn't take much longer for Shelagh to begin to feel the desire to learn more about the way of life in the order. She would inquire whenever possible and became fascinated by the way they lived.

 **Spring 1948**

"Sister Julienne! Sister!" Shelagh called out after their shift at the London had ended. Once Shelagh caught up to Sister Julienne, she happily shared her revelation. "Sister, God has shown me the way, and I've decided to join the order just as soon as I finish my training at the end of the term."

"Oh my! Shelagh, that is wonderful! Please let me know how I can help; this is such a tremendous decision," Sister Julienne gladly replied.

When Shelagh told Maggie of her decision, of course, Maggie thought she had gone mad, but completely supported her. Maggie had made her decisions as well, and was heading to Australia to do work abroad once they finished training at the end of term.

Shelagh and Sister Julienne spent many hours discussing what was to be expected and what was to come about with Shelagh joining the order. With each passing day, Shelagh was more certain of her decision.

 **Few Weeks Later**

"Shelagh, have you heard?" Maggie asked excitedly when Shelagh got in from her shift at the London.

"I'm afraid I haven't. What news am I missing?"

"We've got a new GP joining us tomorrow. I hear he's frightfully good looking. I can't wait to set my eyes on him."

"Oh Maggie, you're so terribly man-crazy. Just don't lay it on too thick when you meet him, got it?" Shelagh advised.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Maggie replied with a wink.

The next day, just as Maggie had said, a new doctor joined them all on the floor and Matron introduced him to the crew of nurses. "Nurses, this is Doctor Turner, he's new to the London and will be one of our GPs. I expect that you treat his authority with the utmost respect, as you do with all of our doctors. Dr. Turner, we have some of the best nursing students in the country right here at your service. Please come to me with any questions or concerns."

Of course, Maggie was first in line to offer her services as his nurse for the day. She thought he was incredibly attractive, and much to Shelagh's surprise, she thought the same. It was only a matter of time before Shelagh had the opportunity to work alongside Dr. Turner in the maternity ward. She found him to be truly incredible in every aspect of the word. She couldn't believe that she was truly smitten, but she certainly was. She was only weeks away from finishing her training and was prepared to commit herself to the lord, but now she was terribly confused. She never thought she could feel this way about a man.

One night after a very long shift, Maggie stormed into the dormitory with a huff.

"What's the bother, Maggie?" Shelagh asked, very concerned.

"Dr. Good-Looking is married. I had no idea, and now I've made a fool of myself by asking him to accompany me to the nurse's dinner," Maggie responded in a huff of frustration.

"Dr. Turner?"

"Mighty right you are."

"Oh my! I didn't know. His wife is a lucky woman," Shelagh replied as her heart sunk deep in her chest. No one knew of her sweet feelings for Dr. Turner, and now she was quite glad of it. She was downright mortified at the idea that she had been keeping sweet eyes on a married man. She prayed and prayed for forgiveness and knew that she must never think of it again. At this time, she was so grateful that Dr. Turner had never truly noticed her or asked for her name, and again was certain this was a sign that she must join the order straight away after the completion of her training.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – Life awaits**

 **June 1948**

"Shelagh, I can't believe we've made it. Our final day of nurse's training complete. Let's go out and celebrate!" Maggie said in her normal but overzealous way.

"Oh, Maggie. I doubt I could handle your type of celebrating. It would probably be quite unbecoming of me anyway, considering I leave for the Mother House to take my vows in just a few days," Shelagh replied despite the small part of her that wanted one last chance to experience those things before she could no longer.

"We'll just go to the pictures and grab some fish and chips. I might not see my wonderful roommate again," Maggie begged.

"Okay, fine. Let's go."

Shelagh allowed Maggie to help dress her, but of course with the option to veto at any point. She figured one last time before the habit wouldn't hurt anything. She was still very modestly dressed in one of Maggie's dresses with a pair of flat shoes, as high heels were never her thing.

The ladies headed to the cinema to see a showing of The Song of Bernadette, which Maggie found to be incredibly appropriate for Shelagh's chosen life path. As the girls walked the streets back to the nurse's dormitory, Shelagh listened to Maggie ramble on about all of the things she planned to do once she arrived in Australia, all of the men she had courted over the years, and all of the latest fashions she couldn't wait to purchase with her first full wage. Even though she didn't contribute much to the conversation, Shelagh truly enjoyed the night. She knew she would miss the companionship and freedom she would have to relinquish upon taking her vows; however, she took the film as yet another sign that this was her chosen path, and at that point chose her religious name to be Sister Bernadette.

The end of the week had finally arrived and after many hugs and heartfelt goodbyes, Maggie was off on a ship to Australia to fulfill her destiny, and Shelagh was on her way to the Mother House to take her vows. She would spend a week there before being sent back to Nonnatus house for her religious and nursing duties.

 **July 1948**

She was ushered into Nonnatus House by Sister Julienne and much to her surprise, was greeted with a warm welcome from two other nuns. As she took in their sweet faces (partly because that is all you can see when someone is wearing a habit), she patiently awaited their introduction that Sister Julienne was about to begin.

"Welcome Sister Bernadette. We are so pleased to have you here at Nonnatus. This is Sister Monica Joan, and Sister Evangelina. We're all here to do God's work and provide the very best midwifery and nursing care we can for our district," Sister Julienne introduced.

Shelagh, or now known as Sister Bernadette, was very excited to be a part of Nonnatus and what seemed to be her true purpose in life. She was still very fond of Sister Julienne, thought Sister Monica Joan was truly a splendid elder with lots to share, but Sister Evangelina scared her to pieces. She was so gruff and direct – something she wasn't quite accustomed to. Despite the incredible differences in all of these incredible nuns, they were all such a splendid family and everything Sister Bernadette knew she'd been missing all of these years.

She quickly got settled into her tiny living quarters and joined the other sisters for tea. While all sitting around the small dining table together, each of the sisters took the time to introduce Sister Bernadette to the ways of Nonnatus and how things were run in day to day life between the duties of the religious life, those of nursing, and midwifery. She was so grateful for how kind everyone was and knew that she'd always have a support system throughout the many years to come at Nonnatus house.

 **[6 Years Later]**

Sister Bernadette had become quite the nurse and midwife, though she'd never say that about herself. Not only was it against her vows, but she was never a boastful person to begin. Despite the unending devotion and skill throughout Nonnatus House, the workload was getting nearly unbearable. Therefore, it was time to bring on not one, but two new nurses to Nonnatus House. This was a bit of a difference, as neither of them were nuns, but all were quite excited to have the help. Sister Bernadette was also a bit excited to have someone else young in the house, although she was a little nervous that it might reignite her longing for type of companionship she had with Maggie so many years ago.

"Sisters, this is Nurse Franklin and Nurse Miller. They will be joining us for both our district patients and our maternity cases. Nurses, we wish you both the very best here at Nonnatus," Sister Julienne so pleasantly introduced.

Both nurses were an incredible asset to Nonnatus and the district, unfortunately, Sister Bernadette's initial concerns of their arrival had proven to be true.

 _They seem to have so much fun in between shifts, deliveries, and the other nursing duties. I remember those days when Maggie would head out the door almost every night for a new adventure. I wonder if I could have ever been like that. Could I have ever loosened up to have some fun, or did I give up on it too soon?_ Sister Bernadette thought to herself.

Though she was certain that once she could suppress those feelings of needing, she had no idea that a whole new set of demons were to come.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **Fall 1956**

"Okay, Ladies, time for morning assignments. I hope everyone got a good night's rest because it's going to be a whopper of a day today," Sister Evangelina announced in her powerful and gruff voice as she met with all of the nurses and nuns before their duties for the day began.

"Oh good, Sister, you haven't started just yet. I have someone I'd like everyone to meet, if they don't already know him," Sister Julienne interrupted as she walked around the corner with a certain tall, dark, and handsome doctor in tow, "This is Dr. Turner for those of you who don't know. He will be our new GP for all of our district patients. He has been a member of the community for quite some time. In fact, I think it was Sister Evangelina that delivered his sweet boy some years back. He's been a GP at the London for the last 11 years and is now coming to us."

Each of nurses said their hellos and greeted Doctor Turner to welcome him to their district. Sister Bernadette needed no introduction for this man standing in front of her, as she would recognize those incredible brown eyes anywhere. _Ugh, why are you thinking of his eyes. Stop it!_ She scolded herself. She was so thankful that he seemed to not remember her at all from the time they worked together at the London during her training. She was certain not to mention it, just in case he had ever noticed the wee crush she had on him back then.

Doctor Turner was such a God sent to the district as he truly cared and minded his patients with the utmost respect, unlike the slew of doctors that had come through before. Most of them got one look at the conditions of Poplar and ran screaming; however, Dr. Turner was happy to help and did his best at it.

Sister Bernadette had managed to move past her crush of the past and suppressed her feelings she had regained when the young nurses had joined Nonnatus, therefore, everything seemed to move smoothly for her and she had little to worry over.

All of that came to screeching halt on a very cold January day in 1957. In the dead of night, the phone rang at Nonnatus House. Sister Julienne was the attending nurse for the night and answered.

"Sister Julienne, it is Dr. Turner. My wife has fallen incredibly ill and I'm waiting for the ambulance. Could you take Timothy for me, please? I hate to ask, but I must go quickly," a very concerned and frantic Dr. Turner hurriedly reported.

"Of course, Doctor! I'll be over straight away."

Sister Julienne went to Dr. Turner's house and had Timothy pack a small bag and brought him back to Nonnatus with her for the night. She explained all that she knew to the young boy and offered any comfort she could; however, he seemed to just want to retreat within himself and sleep. She showed him to a vacant cell and allowed him that privacy.

The next morning, Sister Julienne had received a devastating phone call from Dr. Turner letting her know that his wife had passed suddenly. He said he'd be around to collect Timothy just after noon. In the meantime, Sister Julienne took the time to share this information with the Sisters and nurses of Nonnatus. While Mrs. Turner had rarely come around or associated herself with Dr. Turner's work, they all knew of her and felt sorrow for both Dr. Turner and young Timothy. None more than Sister Bernadette. Her heart shattered at the news, not because she was close to Mrs. Turner or had any ties to her family, but because she understood the pain that Timothy was now experiencing. She asked Sister Julienne for the morning off to keep Timothy company and comfort until his father returned. The request was granted as Sister Julienne knew how much of a connection to this situation Sister Bernadette had.

Straight away, Sister Bernadette went to the now crushed little boy. She sat on the floor staring at his feet in complete silence. She gently wrapped her arms around him and began to rub small circles on his back. She knew that no words would ease his pain at this time, but maybe a loving hand could help. They spent the morning mindlessly looking through books and trying to pass time, until Timothy finally broke. It again shattered Sister Bernadette's heart, but she was right there to catch him with each sob, while she relived her own pain, she was so glad that she could be there for Timothy in a way that no one was there for her. As she sat there holding the sobbing young boy, she nearly missed the sound of men's shoes approaching from behind. She looked up just in time to see the saddest, but most thankful brown eyes she'd ever seen.

As Dr. Turner left with a loving arm wrapped around his distraught and lost little Timothy, she knew from that moment forward, she had a duty to that young boy to make sure he always felt love and comfort no matter what obstacle came his way. However, this opened up a whole new line of unwelcomed thoughts in her mind. _Is this what it feels like to be a mother? Will I never truly get to experience this?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Uncontrollable Thoughts**

Motherhood was not something that had ever crossed Sister Bernadette's mind, but now, all of a sudden, it was a thought she couldn't seem to gain control of. She continually envisioned the look of need that poor little grieving Timothy had given her time and time again in his time of grieving after his mother passed. It both melted and shattered her heart each time she saw him and he came to her in his time of need. _I want this, I want to be someone's mother to provide this solace for everyday things, not just the greatest of grievances._ Sister Bernadette's thoughts haunted her, and she immediately prayed for forgiveness for these thoughts that went against her vows.Though she struggled with these thoughts for quite some time, she again, was successful at suppressing them.

 **Fall 1957**

Nonnatus House was buzzing with life and nurse's work. There had been yet another two additions to nursing staff. Jenny and Chummy had made fine additions and brought even more life into the district. Sister Bernadette enjoyed all of the young women and thoroughly enjoyed overhearing their gossip and girly talk; but it also made her a bit lonesome. She had been struggling to suppress all of her unwelcomed thoughts and seemed to spend more time praying for forgiveness than she did praying for others, which in turn made her pray for even more forgiveness. It was a vicious cycle. She had been working alongside Doctor Turner much more these days and frequently asked about Timothy's wellbeing, careful not to seem over interested. However, she also wondered about Doctor Turner and how he was getting along, though she always felt too out of place to ask. She was having trouble fooling herself into believing that he didn't mean a great deal to her. She found herself bending over backward to help him in any way she could. When his autoclave was out of commission at the surgery, she was the first to volunteer to sterilize the instruments for him. Despite the extra bits of work, she was thrilled to have the opportunity to help. When he came around to collect his instruments, she was thrilled to have a few moments of time to make small talk with the doctor, even if about nothing but an Autoclave. Before the conversation could go anywhere, though, Trixie popped in to invited Doctor Turner to tea. He declined. As he and Trixie were having their own conversation, Sister Bernadette caught herself thinking _Oh Trixie, quit badgering the man. Leave him be so I can have even three minutes to talk to him. I just want to listen to his voice and converse with him, even over nothing._ She immediately said a silent prayer for forgiveness and felt terrible for thinking dreadful things toward Trixie. It seemed her feelings for the oh-so-caring doctor had turned from that of empathy to those of admiration. Once Trixie had left the room, she asked about Timothy as she usually did, and Doctor Turner mentioned that this would be the first Christmas without Mrs. Turner and seemed concerned with the idea. No one other than Sister Julienne knew anything about her past, but for some reason she felt the urge to share with Doctor Turner that she too had lost her mother as a child, and knew that Timothy, as most children, is quite resilient. Doctor Turner quickly made a joke about Timothy's feelings toward his cooking to lighten the mood. _Have I been too open? Maybe I shouldn't reveal such things about myself to Doctor._ Sister Bernadette quickly thought. Just then, Trixie returned to inform Doctor Turner he was being called out. This time, Trixie's interruption was appreciated; however, as Doctor Turner walked away, Sister Bernadette couldn't help her thoughts, _He's so quick to help those in need, such a caring soul. What a truly magnificent man. A girl could be so lucky._ She hadn't been able to stop the thoughts until they were already there, in her mind, haunting her. What was she to do now?

 **Late Winter 1958**

With the introduction of Gas and Air, Doctor Turner was not attending far more births as he was the only one able to deliver the machine to each home. This, in turn, allowed for many more deliveries in which Sister Bernadette got to work alongside Doctor Turner. She so admired his dedication to his patients and his commitment to bring them comfort. She often would sneak in a quick look at him just to admire him, even for a moment, but of course she'd immediately feel guilty and say a silent prayer of repentance. If ever caught praying, she would tell the mother's she is praying for a strong and healthy baby. She hated to withhold truth, but could never be able to admit what was truly going on inside her head.

One afternoon, Sister Evangelina came in during their tea to explain that she had spoken with the doctor and no more would he be delivering the Gas and Air to deliveries upon request and that mothers would have to report to the maternity home to receive it. Sister Bernadette lost all sense of reason, even though deep down she knew that it was too much on him, and immediately questioned Sister Evangelina. She claimed it was because the mother's loved it, but only she knew that she didn't like this transition because it meant fewer deliveries alongside Doctor Turner. This sparked a table-wide conversation about him and how he's been overworked and how his lab coat was in need of repair. Sister Bernadette held her tongue though she didn't care that anyone ever talk negatively about Doctor Turner, even if only out of concern; however, once Trixie made a comment about Timothy looking unkempt, she couldn't hold her tongue anymore. "Speak more respectfully of Doctor, please," she said more sternly than she normally spoke. She quickly realised what she had said and followed up with, "and I'll thank you to hand me the malt loaf" in order to better cover her words and divert the conversation. _Please don't tell me anyone noticed that! Why did I open my big mouth? What if people start to suspect? But how could anyone say even one negative thing about that incredible man and his outstanding little boy?_ She thought to herself.

A few days later she found herself in the clinic after everyone had finished. Doctor Turner had hung his lab coat on the hook as he left for the day, and Sister Bernadette seized the opportunity to mend it. She sat down, sewed the buttons on, and was so glad she had been given yet another opportunity to help this man that she had grown to care for so much.

Winter was slowly turning to Spring when Sister Bernadette and Trixie got called out for the Carter brith. It was certainly something peculiar, as Mrs. Carter was pregnant, and her twin sister was also Mrs. Carter, and no one quite knew what was going on with that family dynamic, but they all at least knew that Mrs. Meg Carter was a handful and she wasn't even the expectant mother. Not long after Trixie and Sister Bernadette arrived, Doctor Turner arrived to assist. It was a difficult case and they knew they needed all hands on deck. Despite how hectic of a situation it all was, Sister Bernadette didn't let it escape her just how closely she was getting to work with Doctor Turner and how incredible he was with delivering babies and reassuring his patients. Nothing stole her heart more. As they were preparing for the very difficult delivery of the second twin, Mrs. Meg Carter came into the room and practically tackled Doctor Turner to the ground. As if some carnal instinct immediately kicked in, Sister Bernadette was to her feet and ready to defend this man that she loved so dearly. Before she could process what she had done, she had been smacked straight across the face and was on the floor. She was up in no time because she realized that the life of her patient was hanging in the balance and Doctor Turner had already regained his footing and was giving a stern directive to his attacker. Sister Bernadette was very focused on her patient, but was also so proud of how well he handled the situation. If that had been her father, he would have made sure that Mrs. Meg Carter was missing a few teeth by the time he finished with her. She was so proud of how gentle, yet stern, of a man Doctor Turner was.

After the ever so difficult, but successful delivery of the Carter twins, Sister Bernadette was very caught off guard that Doctor Turner offered her a cigarette and even shared his with her. She, yet again, revealed another small secret about herself when she told him that her father used to smoke the same kind and she would steal them on occasion. It was only two puffs of his cigarette, but she immediately knew that she was in way over her head. She went straight to the chapel for prayer as she knew she needed divine guidance from here forward. She was officially torn between her Godly life and the man she now realized she was in love with.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – What is God's Chosen Path?**

Sister Bernadette seemed to spend every waking moment saying a silent prayer for guidance and for signs from God to show her how to proceed and move beyond these feelings. Unfortunately, for each step she took forward in her attempts to move past her feelings, she took four backward. She was beginning to feel hopeless, and even attempted to confide in Sister Julienne. Unfortunately, there wasn't the time as other, more urgent, matters with Sister Monica Joan arose.

Late one afternoon, after the clinic had closed for the day, Doctor Turner approached her to ask about needed supplies. She felt that he had much better things to occupy his time, but he insisted as they were about to receive new funds and he was to help them get the things most needed with them. She began rambling on about broken screens, water heaters, and spirit lamps when she felt the air get thicker and thicker surrounding her and Doctor Turner. She felt as though she couldn't breathe as he came closer. She looked up at him to find he was giving her the same paralyzing gaze straight into her soul. Before she could process any further, the moment was broken by Timothy Turner coming to fetch his father. Once he walked away, she found herself letting out a breath that she hadn't realized she was holding. This man literally took her breath away. How was she supposed to move forward from this brief, but oh so intense, moment? Why wasn't God showing her the sign she needed to move beyond all of this?

She forged forward as she always had pleading herself to find joy in daily life without filling her mind with the doctor whose gaze made her feel as if her knees may buckle. She helped in any way possible with planning the Summer Fete, including the organization of activities. One of which was the three-legged race. Timothy had signed up with his father, and Sister Bernadette felt her heart nearly leap out of her chest watching them practice. She didn't even realize just how much she was cheering them on. She just fell into a moment of bliss that was sure to come back to haunt her later and she would, again, pray and beg God for forgiveness and guidance.

She thought that her struggles had gone unnoticed until one day as she, Sister Monica Joan, Jane, and Sister Julienne were preparing handicrafts, Sister Monica Joan made mention of her perpetual prayer and sadness. She couldn't bare it. _How do I continue? Not only do I struggle with this internal battle, but now even our most elder sister notices. God, please help me! Send me a sign of how to move forward._ She silently prayed on her way down the corridor toward the chapel. Little did she know that Sister Julienne was close behind, as Sister Bernadette's sadness was so apparent upon her departure. She confided with her superior sister that she was so lost and unsure of her ailments. She had no clue how to explain that all of this was caused by deep feelings for a man, and figured it best if she didn't. She was thankful for Sister Julienne's kind words and allowing her to cry it out for a while with just the two of them in chapel, but she didn't see her solution.

Within a few days, all had to be put aside as the Summer Fete was upon them. It was such a wonderful day filled with joyous faces and cheerful events. It was enough to make Sister Bernadette forget her troubles and enjoy it all. She was watching the play that the cubs were putting on when she noticed the man responsible for stealing her heart. He was across the crowd laughing and dotingly watching his son in the play. However, her breath-taking view was short-lived as Jenny Lee ran to Doctor Turner to take him away to a medical emergency. She was a bit bummed that he had to leave, but was so proud of him, yet again, for the dedication he had for his patients. However, she remembered that he was meant to run the three-legged race with Timothy after the play. She felt sorry for the young lad, as he had to get used to being put on the back burner when it came to his father's work. She immediately offered to be his partner for the race, she figured it might be a better match anyway. She was barely larger than the children with her tiny frame, so Timothy would have someone nearer his size to run with. As the race began, she was thrilled and full of excitement as they pulled ahead of the group. She hadn't even noticed that Doctor Turner had arrived just in time to see them win the race. She and Timothy tumbled over the finish line and her glasses were gone, but even if she couldn't see him clearly, she'd always know that man directly in front of her. He had immediately taken her breath away which completely distracted her from the fact that she had injured her hand. In fact, she may have not even noticed if Doctor Turner hadn't pointed it out. In an attempt to cover up her excitement, nervousness, and giddiness, she made a joke about not needing to amputate, then rushed off as quickly as she could into the Parish Hall to clean it up.

 _He's so kind, so loving, so tender. Any woman would be so lucky to have him. But I don't want any woman to have him, I want to have him. But I can't. Oh why oh why am I faced with this conflict. Ugh, those eyes, that smile._ She was so lost in thought as she was letting the cool water run over her injured palm that she nearly jumped when Doctor Turner entered the room.

"Would you like me to have a look at that?" Doctor Turner offered gently.

Sister Bernadette knew that it was just a minor scrape and nothing she couldn't mend herself.

 _The last time we stood here alone, he peered straight into my soul with the most loving gaze._ She thought to herself. And before she could make a better judgement call, she answered, "Yes!"

He ever so gently took her hand to examine it. As his hand brushed her in the gentlest way, she literally could not breathe. She was stunned and no other thoughts could enter her mind. It was as if the two of them were the only two in the entire world at that precise moment. She was completely lost in the moment when she felt his lips tenderly caress her hand. As much as she wished she could have lingered and allowed it move so far beyond that, she quickly turned away, and for the first time since her vows, she used God as an excuse rather than a motivation for her actions. She knew that he left the room out of respect for her, but it broke her heart to turn around to find him gone.

 **Few Days Later**

She slowly removed each layer of her habit as she stared into his eyes. She felt his lips and soft caresses all over her. She moaned in sweet delight as he continued. "Please don't stop. I love you!" She said ever so softly. Just then, he began to vanish into the darkness. "No! Don't go. Please! I love you, I love you!" Those three words bounced around in her head until Sister Bernadette woke with a start.

It had all been a dream. Yet another one. Her nights were filled with these types of dreams ever since that kiss on her palm. She lied there in bed feeling every possible emotion with confusion being the strongest one. She stared at the nothingness around her in an attempt to come back to reality, but it didn't seem to work. She could still feel his lips on her hand and it would haunt her for the foreseeable future.

All she could do now, was pray and pray some more.

 _God, where is my sign?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – Destined for Damnation**

It had been only a short time since that ever so lingering kiss, but it still replayed in Sister Bernadette's head with a vengeance. Even the thought of him left her feeling slightly breathless now, but, as she always had, she tucked her feelings deep into her pocket and carried on.

"Sister Bernadette, would you be so kind as to cover my appointments today? I have been called away for some other urgent matters. One of my appointments includes going before the medical board with Doctor Turner to address the need for the X-ray Van," Sister Julienne politely requested.

Sister Bernadette was perfectly fine with covering appointments, but when she mentioned the appointment with Doctor Turner, she thought she'd lost all control of her lungs. Within an instant, she had regathered herself, knowing that her conflicted feelings were of no matter in this situation, and work must be done. "Certainly, Sister. I'd be glad to," she gracefully replied.

After getting the rest of the nurses and nuns ready for their day, she had to mentally prepare for her own. _Be tough! Don't show any signs of interest in what happened. Be stern! DON'T LOOK AT HIS EYES!_

As she made her way down the front steps, she saw the surprise in his face immediately. She had to restrain herself from smiling because she could tell it was a good surprise. She believed he was happy to see her. _Don't let it get to your head! Straight face and keep moving! This is business!_ She explained that she was there in Sister Julienne's place due to unforeseen circumstances. He began rambling on about being late and not finding a tie. _How is he late? He was out here waiting for me. He's nervous. I make him nervous._ "I am here as a favour to Sister Julienne, that is all," She said aloud, when she had meant for it be a mental self-scolding. _How pretentious do you sound now! That was not supposed to come out of your mouth, dummy!_

His slight response of "Of course" sounded nearly pitiful, as though she had wounded him slightly. _Well this day has started out brilliantly! Ugh!_

The ride to the medical board office was a silent one. Sister Bernadette noticed, but was somewhat grateful that he hadn't tried to make small talk, or worse, mention their encounter in the parish hall kitchen. She took the time to think, then fuss at herself when she'd sneak a peek at his gorgeous features when he wasn't looking.

When they arrived, her role was merely a representative of her fellow nurses, therefore, she had no intention of speaking or contributing to the discussion at all; however, she saw that despite his passion and conviction, Doctor Turner was in need of help. The board simply wasn't taking what he had to say to heart and it was not only heart crushing, but it was making her a bit peeved. So, as soon as there was a break in the conversation, she spoke up, knowing that she would be the additional voice that he needed. The adrenaline coursed through her, as this was something she wasn't used to doing, and it seemed to radiate onto Doctor Turner. By the time they left, she felt certain that they had truly made a case that couldn't be denied. She couldn't help herself in congratulating him. "Congratulations Doctor Turner, you were truly…" _so inspiring and I want to just kiss you. No! You can't say that!_ "..quite tremendous," she continued. He returned the compliment, and gave her another one of those knee-weakening gazes. She had to break away before they completely gave out, but she was floating on cloud nine. Despite the nearly silent trip back, her high had not faded upon arrival at Nonnatus. She shared all of the details – outside of all of her inappropriate feelings and thoughts – with her fellow nurses who agreed that it sounded so exciting and dramatic. Just then, Sister Monica Joan announced, "When you speak of the sun, so it shines." Sister Bernadette looked up to see Doctor Turner walking into the dining room. _I couldn't have said it better myself, Sister._ She thought of Sister Monica Joan's introduction. He truly was her sun and he shone upon her to make her feel radiant.

He announced that an X-ray Van was coming a week from next Tuesday. She was so thrilled, as was everyone else, that their trip had been successful that day. By the time she went to bed that night, she was still so high from the day's excitement, that she completely forgot to pray for forgiveness, guidance, and a sign.

" **A Week from Next Tuesday"**

The day they'd all been anxiously awaiting had finally arrived. The X-ray Van was there and they truly had no idea what to expect. Sister Bernadette made her way to the van to assist the doctor and couldn't believe the crowd that had gathered. Doctor Turner was obviously more than pleased, and she couldn't have been happier that they'd had such success with something that they both felt so strongly about.

Everything was moving along perfectly, until a little girl decided to give her mother fits about entering the van. Those endearing and calm motherly instincts of Sister Bernadette's kicked in immediately when she offered to help. She took her own x-ray to show her, then allowed the little girl her turn. _Oh, I just love children. I love making them feel better,_ she again thought to herself, as she had done many times before since her revelation with Timothy Turner after his mother passed. As she escorted the little girl out of the van, she turned to see Doctor Turner giving her yet another one of those loving gazes he seems to give her so frequently now, but it wasn't until he told her that she was a natural that she truly melted inside.

The day had gone on without a hitch, and Sister Bernadette couldn't have been more pleased. It was incredible how much she and Doctor Turner had accomplished. They made such an amazing team. She was just in the dining room with her fellow nurses about to enjoy a cup of celebratory Horlicks when Sister Julienne came to her ask her to see Doctor Turner in private.

 _Has he come to celebrate our successes? But why does he want to see me in private? Does he want to discuss our "moment"? No, surely not here. He is probably just as excited as I am and wants to share in this delight._ She thought to herself as she entered the clinical room where Doctor Turner awaited, but it was within a moment that she knew that something wasn't as it should be. She tried to stay as optimistic as possible and keep her spirits up as she had had the most amazing past few days/weeks, but it was getting harder by the second. His demeanour was too professional and something was terribly off. Then he handed her the x-ray. She looked down and said, "These have my name on it." All hope of a positive meeting was lost. He began discussing the matter and she was only half listening and asking a question here or there, but her mind was racing. _Oh God, this is my sign. I've been sent a death sentence for my sins. I've asked for a sign, and here I have it. Why didn't I back away sooner? Why didn't I ask to leave Poplar as soon as it started?_

"Have you had any symptoms?" His words tore her briefly from her thoughts of self-blame. "No," she immediately responded, but then corrected herself, with "well, a little breathlessness, maybe," and her thoughts finished the sentence with, " _but only when you're around."_

He explained that he'd have to carry out an examination, which she already knew is standard protocol for something like that, but she just went numb at the idea. She began removing layers of her habit, with Sister Julienne's help, in preparation for the examination, and suddenly realised that this was her dream turned nightmare. Maybe God had already been giving her signs in her dreams, and now she was having to live it out. She couldn't even look at him during the exam because in her dream, when he touched her, it was meant to be intimate, not to diagnose the level of her deadly disease.

Immediately following the examination, she found refuge in her cell while Sister Julienne did her best to comfort her before being called to a particularly difficult case. Sister Bernadette didn't spend the night crying, for she was in shock. She would have never seen this coming in a million lifetimes.

The next morning, Doctor Turner took her straight to the London for the more precise testing that was needed for the final conclusion of her diagnosis. Once it was all complete and confirmed, he drove her to the sanatorium where she would receive the triple treatment in an attempt to battle the TB. The relatively long ride was made in silence as Sister Bernadette silently spewed her own anger in her mind toward herself. She was distraught at the idea of dying so young, and in between her horrid self-blaming internal screams, she begged God for a second chance. _God, please let me live. I'll follow your plan no matter what direction that is. I will not veer from the path you set before me as I have done before. I just beg that you allow me the chance to live and serve you however you see fit._ She finished this final prayer just as she and Doctor Turner arrived at the Sanatorium. As they exited the car, he gave her one last loving gaze, and as she thought he was about to say something endearing, he said, "The triple treatment can be miraculous." At this point, she knew she simply had to keep her faith and trust that God would point her to the proper path, and maybe it wasn't one that involved Doctor Turner at all. She graciously responded with, "We shall see."

As he handed her suitcase to her, she said, "Thank you, Doctor. You've been…" she trailed off because there were so many things she wanted to say because she didn't know if she'd have another opportunity, but she knew she must have faith that what was necessary to be said, would be. So, she finished with, "..more than kind," and walked away to begin her fight for life and hope for a new path from God that would keep her alive.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – The Road Ahead**

Once sister Bernadette got settled into her room at the Sanitorium, she knew there was only one thing for her to do from this moment – pray. She knew that she must seek divine guidance and beg for mercy and forgiveness. The triple treatment could be miraculous, but only if He allowed it to be.

 _I am here to serve you and your will. Show me the way, the light, and the path, and I shall follow as best I can. Please forgive me for going astray and veering from the original path you lay before me._ She silently prayed these words numerous times a day, and always right as she fell asleep. One particular night, she prayer her same prayer, but added _give me a sign when I wake, and I will obey._ Little did she know; the sign was well on its way.

"Good morning, Sister Bernadette. Did you sleep well?" One of the sanitorium nurses pleasantly greeted.

"I did. Thank you," Sister Bernadette replied in her normal quiet and solemn tone.

"No need to be glum this morning, dear. It appears you've received your first letter. Correspondence from home is always a tremendous help in recovery," the nurse cheerfully said as she handed Sister Bernadette her daily dose of medication and her letter.

Sister Bernadette thought the handwriting looked familiar, but it wasn't until she turned it over that she realised it was from Doctor Turner. Her heart nearly leaped from her chest. It was as if, all at once, she realised that this was her sign, and maybe, just maybe, God had been giving her these signs all along. She thought back and realised that every time she had asked for a sign, Doctor Turner had turned up in one way or another.

 _How could it take me this long to understand? How thick am I? God has been giving me the signs all along! He WAS the signs!_ She excitedly thought. However, her nerves were still not gone and she knew that there was still a lot of sorting out she must do from this point. She decided it in her best interest at this point to not open the letter. She knew that if she opened it she would quickly lose all reason and throw caution to the wind, which was absolutely not what needed to be done in a situation like this one.

She corresponded regularly with all of her friends, sisters, and colleagues back home, and was even expecting a visit from Trixie in the next few days, but she had yet to open one of Doctor Turner's letters. She had been writing every four or five days. It truly warmed her heart just to see them coming in. She continued to pray constantly for guidance, and every time she would ask for another sign that she was headed in the right direction, she would wake up to another letter from him. It was all too clear to think that she belonged on any other path than the one directly in front of her.

It was a beautiful Friday morning when Trixie had come to visit. Sister Bernadette was grateful for the company and familiarity of home. Trixie was the perfect person to get her mind off of the raging battle she had going on inside. She was going on about gossip back home and how attractive all of the TB doctors were around the sanitorium. Things that Sister Bernadette would never have a real conversation about, but always enjoyed listening to Trixie go on and on about these frivolous things. It really caught Sister Bernadette by surprise when Trixie had not only brought cake with her, but also something from Timothy Turner. It warmed her heart that he had thought of her, even if it was a dead butterfly in a matchbox about which he wanted answers in regards to its death. She loved his curiosity and love for all things living. She truly believed he would follow in his father's footsteps. Timothy meant so much to her, and she longed to play a larger part in his life. However, she knew that if the path that lay before her was, in fact, the direction she was meant to go, she would have much more of a chance of that than she did before. She wanted so desperately to ask Trixie how Doctor Turner was doing, but as she was about to ask, her better judgement kicked in. Trixie would be the first one to suspect something if she specifically asked about him, and she had to go about things differently than that.

That night she lay in bed riddled with questions, anticipations, more confusion. She missed her sisters and friends at Nonnatus, but was that truly the place for her upon her recovery – which she was now certain that God had decided to grant her. She decided she'd find some solace in reading her bible, and there again, was another sign as Doctor Turner's unopened letter fell out of her bible and onto her chest. She knew what God was telling her and she could no longer ignore it. She closed the bible and put her glasses away, but at that moment, she realised it was time to take the next step on this path, and it wasn't going to be an easy one. She needed to call Sister Julienne to come for a visit.

She was incredibly nervous about meeting with Sister Julienne and discussing the questions that have been running through her mind for the past few months. Sister Julienne seemed to think it was something that would pass with time and prayer, which led Sister Bernadette to realise that she couldn't appreciate the depth of her questioning at this point. She knew she had to be straight forward at this point, so she let Sister Julienne know that she felt that God just had a new path for her. Of course, Sister Julienne didn't seem thrilled at the idea of her wanting to step away from the religious life, but she was kind and willing to be a pillar of strength, which is exactly what Sister Bernadette needed.

The strength she gained from her visit with Sister Julienne was the push she needed to begin opening and reading the letters from Doctor Turner. They were so wonderful that they brought tears of happiness to her eyes and she read them over and over again. The first few were quite formal and were more small talk with only small hints of his feelings beyond a professional relationship; however, as the letters progressed, he seemed to have become bolder in his writing. We went from signing "Doctor Turner" to just "P. Turner", which made it that much more special. He went on about how he hated not being able to see her each day whether at the clinic on during difficult delivery or just around Nonnatus House from time to time. He spoke of how much he missed her, her smile, her voice, and her compassion. It was mind-blowing how many beautiful things he had to say about her. Sister Bernadette was beyond thrilled, and knew straight away that she had to get back to Poplar and back to "P. Turner" as fast as humanly possible once she was released. She had no idea what to send as a reply to these beautiful and heartfelt letters, but she knew she had to let him know somehow that she had read and appreciated them. So, she took one of the postcards she had painted in her spare time and wrote to Timothy about his butterfly with just a snippet that read "Thank your father for his kind letters. I shall reply to them in due cause." She hoped this would be enough to ease his mind until she was able to formulate a better response, but it was all she could gather at that moment.

Just a few days later was time for another check-up and a follow-up x-ray. She impatiently awaited the results, and by the day's end, she had her news. "Sister, upon inspection of your x-rays and check-up tests, we found no more active lesions or signs of active Tuberculosis. We still want you to get rest, as this is a major disease that your body is recovering from. Therefore, I'm prescribing one last week here at the sanitorium before sending you home to rest for another few weeks. Do you have any questions for me?" Doctor Brown, the attending doctor at the sanitorium, very politely asked.

"No, Doctor. I understand. Thank you so much for the good news!" Sister Bernadette replied, nearly giddy with excitement of the idea of getting to leave.

"My pleasure. Safe travels upon your release."

Sister Julienne was planning a visit the following day, and Sister Bernadette couldn't wait to share the grand news with her. But then, she had another thought, one she hadn't had in at least a decade – _what will I wear when I leave?_

The next morning, she was beaming with joy to see Sister Julienne. She was thrilled to hear the good news about her release. However, she now had to explain to Sister Julienne that she wasn't sure where she was supposed to go to rest because she wasn't quite sure where 'home' was at that moment. She knew she loved and missed her family at Nonnatus, but she did not want to go back as a nun. It didn't feel right at all considering her current decided path. Sister Julienne still expressed that Nonnatus was her home until she was sure where to go, but that offered little comfort. Then to add insult to injury, Sister Bernadette felt quite awkward asking Sister Julienne to provide her with some clothes. She couldn't very well walk out into the world in a habit when she was no longer a nun – at least in her eyes. Sister Julienne obliged, but didn't seem terribly thrilled about the idea. She had also arranged for Sister Bernadette to convalesce at the Mother House in Chichester. Sister Bernadette knew that she had to get back to Poplar straight away, so that was out of the question, and thankfully, she was no longer under the dutiful vow of obedience any longer.

The day finally came and she couldn't believe it. She was about to leave when she realised there was one last thing she had to do. She picked up the phone and called Doctor Turner. She needed him to know she was coming back and why. She then had one last revelation as she was on the phone, _my name is Shelagh._

He had told her she shouldn't take public transport for the 30 miles back to Poplar, but she didn't have much other option and she wanted to head back straight away. She knew she needed to get on number 9 bus to head east to Poplar, so she grabbed her case and went straight for the stop. She stood there waiting, knowing it should only be a few minutes before the bus arrived and her mind was filled with all the things she'd say once she arrived in Poplar and found Doctor Turner. As she was lost in her thoughts she boarded the bus that had just arrived, not even noticing that it was the number 7 bus, which was headed west. It took about fifteen miles for her to realise that she had boarded the wrong bus. She was mortified. She immediately asked the driver to let her off, but she was in the middle of nowhere. No phone, no buildings, no houses, just Shelagh and the road ahead. She knew this was another moment that she needed to completely trust in God. She began to walk and knew she wouldn't stop until she had Doctor Turner in front of her. She was a bit nervous, as she knew that she was meant to be resting, and walking forty-five miles was not quite the same. And to make matters worse, it was horribly foggy with the threat of rain looming around each moment.

When it seemed that all hope was lost she saw the headlamps of a car approaching. She was grateful for anyone to come along as maybe they'd be so kind as to get her to a telephone. She knew she'd call Doctor Turner straight away for help, but just then she realised that the headlamps belonged to a certain green MG that she knew all too well. _Thank you, God, for all of your signs. It couldn't be any clearer at this moment._ It was in that moment that she knew with all certainty that this was her intended path and that her life was meant to be spent with Doctor and Timothy Turner – if they would have her, of course.


End file.
